…To the Ridiculous – $2.98 Pinot Noir Review

I decided to review the NV Gallo Family Vineyards Pinot Noir that I picked up at Glazier’s about a month ago. I just had to. There are a couple of reasons for this:  one, I bashed them on their “Café Zinfandel” earlier in 2013, and two, because I’m such a Pinot Noir fan.  Had to see how it measured up to its peers. Ha!

As noted, I bought it when Aunt Joyce and I went shopping at Glazier’s. We have nicknamed Glazier’s “the poor man’s Whole Foods” because of the range and depth of food that they have available, but at far more reasonable prices.  Don’t get me wrong; I love Whole Foods and will probably always shop there.  However, my budget – which is a living thing – speaks to me on occasion and lets me know when it’s not a Whole Foods week. That was one of those weeks.

But I digress.

At any rate, I bought the bottle and put it immediately into my wine cooler.  One month later, I finally decided to taste it.  Had to let it *age,* you know.

To be fair, unlike the Café Zinfandel, the Pinot Noir did not altogether suck.  The reason that I’m doing this review, however, is because I don’t want someone who doesn’t know a lot about Pinot Noir to taste this and think it’s representative of the varietal. It isn’t.  The color is a little off, but considering that it only has to have 75% actual Pinot Noir to call itself Pinot Noir, I guess that should be expected.  The nose and flavor are reminiscent of Beaujolais Nouveau.  On the palate, it’s a combination of Beaujolais Nouveau, flat black cherry soda, and Skittles. Horrific for a quality Pinot, acceptable for a consumer-grade low-end red wine. So for a generic red wine that you didn’t have to think about, I guess it’s not bad. As a Pinot – there’s suckage levels previously unknown.

The highest praise I can give it is that it’s harmless.  It’s a quaffable wine that doesn’t have any strong character, only has about a 13% ABV, and is pretty nondescript. It is a mass-market commercial wine that doesn’t have “Industrial Swill!” written all over it like the Café Zinfandel.  I let Zach taste some and his opinion was the same as mine – “It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”  Yeah, he got to taste the Café Zinfandel, too. We did not finish the bottle. Like its predecessor, the Café Zinfandel, it met its end being poured down the sink. No, not even for cooking.

Do I recommend it? Heck no.  Okay, maybe if you have some “I hate red wine” friends over who would be willing to try this particular reddish wine and don’t mind pairing it with hot dogs, pizzas, tortilla chips, dip, and a playoff game. Gotta have beer, though. And chicken wings. Maybe.

Enjoy the vid.

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